In the earbuds; Alive The Story
As with any journey you take, its continual until the destination is reached, it seems that you are in a constant state of movement. I find that the more I move along this journey, that the more growth is being achieved or at least worked on…
In Matthew 13:51, after Jesus was done teaching his disciples through parables…He asked them if they understood…..they said “Yes Lord” (KJV). Then in Mark 4:35, Jesus said to them, “let us pass to the other side”, the storm rocked the boat…and in Mark 4:40 a mere 5 verses…the disciples were afraid of the storm and wondered why Jesus was asleep during this storm. Jesus had to say to them, “why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?” Jesus had been teaching them, the disciples, and they had told Jesus that they understood….but did they? Do we understand?
It seems a little light, ok a very bright spot light, so bright that it not only illuminated the darkness, it pass right through me. This “light bulb” moment was incredible. Jesus asked me…if I understood, and I said “yes Lord”, just like the disciples. I only thought I had understood, then the storm with its wind blowing so hard it made every raindrop hit with such a sting. The struggle of my belief was being pounded, as when the surf hits the ragged cliffs that are in the distance, showing my stubbornness and disbelief…Did I really understand?
Yes, I said it “disbelief” (you can uncover your mouth), I struggle with disbelief…just as most of you (all) do at times. Don’t get this twisted, I do not struggle with my belief in Jesus the Son of God, who died for me, that the Bible is God’s words and the absolute truth…and the one who loves me more than anything. I believe He saved me in life from many different situations (I put myself in)..and I have seem miracles, I have received the gift of the Holy Spirit…what I seem to struggle with is my daily situations….there you have it. I thought I understood.
It has taken all my life to now be able to speak those words, I know I am not doomed, just the opposite….. It seems that as the storms just begin to cause a little movement in the boat of my life…panic, fear, and anxiety would rise up. “I” was trying to believe, to trust…all by myself, through my own power…and although in the storms, I have gotten to the other side unscathed (by God’s grace and power), I would be very weary. .The disciples showed they had the same reactions that I experience in the face of the storm…Then Jesus, got up and said “Peace, Be Still“, and the winds ceased, and there was a great calmness. (Mark 4:39). I heard God ask me today….Do you understand…Yes Lord, I understand.