In the earbuds; Just as I am
Isaiah 46:4 Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry and will save you. (AMP)
Hummmmm 51……This year, today…I am 51 years old. I had for weeks thought I would, instead of going ahead…adding years, that I would start deduction of the years. 49 years old, I liked the sound of that. Then, a few days ago…I pondered just staying at 50, neither loosing a year or gaining a year. Yea, that’s was the ticket. But then after deep and careful thought, why would I want to go backwards, or not move at all. I have spent this journey moving forward, making progress, even small little steps have brought me closer to where I am to be. So again, why would I ever want to stay the same or go back..No that will not do.
Hummmm 51…….. I am still amazed at the aging process. In some aspects, such as what my mind believes it can do (backbends, jumping on a trampoline and doing cartwheels), then the realization that those activities would not be best hahaha. In other aspects, I look at my babies and see these grown ups (physically, lets not get twisted)…what has happened? My husband and I lately look at each other with the same look, one of question…one of unbelief and sometimes with a little sadness. How did this happen?
Hummmmm 51…… Time, what an intriguing concept God came up with here on Earth. When your young, your body agile, and your time seemingly endless. When you seem to have no fear,…you have not knowledge. As time goes by, your body may become soft…things that once were in one place are now…not there (don’t ask). Your hair has lightened (grey). However, clarity and understanding seem to resonate deep within you (ok, granted..there are some that never get to this point). What a sense of humor God has, where time is concerned. I just love Him, Creator of the Universe…Healer for all…and a great sense of humor.
Hummmmm 51…..As I look over this last year…YIKES! No really all in all this year has brought growth, a lot of reflection and a plan for more growth. And although, more of me seems to have fallen…and I didnt just loose 20 lbs, so some of me has actually fallen off..not just in another place (hallelujah). The meno friend is still hanging around, becoming more like that guest that will not just leave…its tolerable (with Valium, no….ok yes). And has I start to shed some of that youthful bushy thick hair…I now can tell you, where it has gone…the chin! I guess I should have been a bit more specific on new hair growth in prayer…
Hummmm 51….. In these in between years, no grandchildren…no sons or daughters-in law, not in that order of course. I am in, like a vine growing time, I want to be an active granny….and one that is mentally strong as well, so growth time is needed to be a granny (nana) like my children have had, and for that I need more time. There is anticipation for the upcoming seasons, a hope in tomorrow and a longing for God’s blessings and promise.
Hummmm 51….. So as the sun arises this 51st year of my life, I welcome it….open for all that God has in store for me. There will be growth, and an occasional walk around Toni’s Peak (my mountain), there will be resting on the vine, putting on my armour, enjoying the promises that were given to me before I was in my mother’s womb. I have promised to get stronger both physically and mentally…doing my part, so God can do His.. Overcoming the past with all the promises of the future.
So Happy Birthday 51-year-old child of the most High….