In my earbuds; Matthew West My Own Little World
After 23 years of being a mom, as with life, there seems to be many different seasons that this mom is experiencing while on my journey. Seasons in which my children have been safely ensconced within my womb, where they have been kept warm, safe and fed. There within my very being, under my heart that would beat with anticipation of their arrival, where I would talk and sing to them and where I thanked God everyday that they were being taken care of within me.
There were seasons that they were totally dependant on me, ……mommy….for everything, love, hugs, kissing boo boos and redirecting their little bodies to keep them from harm. There were sleepless nights, of driving them around town so as to calm their colicky tummies…..There were tears from immunizations, toys underfoot, the lack of hygiene…(not them but myself). Then came school, PTA meeting, IEP meetings, as well as fighting for my children’s education and services needed to keep them above the curve. And throughout these seasons, Mothers Day…..every year, the hugs and kisses and profession of me being the best mom every….as well as a new experience of burnt toast, the lovely taste of runny eggs that tasted incredable…and the dollar store little brick-a-brack bears that were so lovinly picked out with love from my babies/kids (that I still have and cherish beyond words). Then teenagerhood……..
As time passes, and the seasons change, new terrain of bumps and potholes at almost every turn on our path (both myself and my babies/young adults). Where all of us are trying to find ourselves and each other, where my babies are still my babies and “people” all at the same time. Where sometimes the loneliness of motherhood takes hold of me…where I miss the physical closeness of rocking my children, hugging them, and just the lack of being near them is overwhelming. At that moment, I remember the blessing, the desire of my heart that God so graciously, not only promised me in His Word, but made true to His Word….gave to me!
As with the journey I am on, I am very aware that my babies/young adults are on their own journey as well…where they are at a place in their path where my feet has tread already, a place where they need to find their own way, to carve out a place for themselves…to leave the nest (or want to)..where their thoughts and actions have to be their own…where their choices are theirs, leading them to their own nests, lives, and families….Everyday, on this part of the motherhood journey, there is some pain for me as a mom as well as excitement for them. I pray for them, blessings, discernment and leaning on their Father.
I can tell you, that when “they” say to enjoy everyday, every moment because they grow up so fast…its more than just advice for when a mom is stressed with the everyday stuff. That statement is the truth! I blinked and they were grown..There will be times when they will come to me crying for a hug, needing reassurance, love and to be held….I will and do treasure these moments.
God entrusted me (and my husband, but hey…its Mothers Day) with all my children, (two that are with Jesus) to guide, love and teach them of the promised and Love of God. And although, in my imperfection I have done to the best of my ability, I am richly blessed and it has, and always will be an honor to love and guide my babies~
They, David Patrick, Aimee-Margaret Rose, and Samuel Wheeler will always be my babies!…. Thank you God for allowing me to not only be a mom but to be their mom!!
I am blessed and highly favored.