In my ear; Don’t Leave Just Yet…………………Needtobreath
Proverbs 21:23 Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from trouble…
My mouth, oh my, lets just say that this one part of my person has gotten me in more fixes than any other action my body has taken part of …….ever!
Growing up I was told that my mouth was always engaged before the brain, and yes that was and is currently true. It was like there was a 2 second delay between my mouth and my brain. So other than my mind (and the renewing of it daily) my mouth has been a close second on the long list of attributes that I gladly want to work on.
I have been amazed in the past few years the growth I have experienced. My walk, my want to change…as far as my less than positive issues. Don’t get me wrong, I want to work on these issues I want to be what God intended me to be and who I was made to be. Any who…., back to MY MOUTH, oh yea, I am learning to hold my tongue, my judgement and my anger. And I am making progress.
Rewind to last night……Ya know I have a term for what can happen to me at times in regard to my mouth and “talking”..I call it “word vomit” which hopefully will not upset your sensitive and delicate sensibilities. But it accurately describes what happens to me sometimes…and mainly last night. Ok, last night…I was wanting to “talk” with my husband. I was about to burst with the excitement and nudging of the Holy Spirit with some thoughts that I was having in regard to the direction of my life…and ok, he was on the internet (which I of course introduced him to), just minding his own business watching some car thingy..Road and Track. Just watching cars go around and around a track…oh wait, back to the incident or better yet accident. That is what it felt like…anyway, the words, ideas and stuff just started flowing out, like…you know what, and it seemed that I could not stop it. (now in my defense, I wasn’t saying anything we had not discussed before, or anything that was a surprise). I just needed and wanted to share my heart, (insert here how I need more girlfriends, or just talk to the ones I have). So of course, as I was “hurling” ideas and different situations that we/hubby and I have been through and how that could help some others. I was met with the “deer in the headlights” look from my husband. Oh no, I could see that this was not going well, STOP, STOP NOW..I was having a dialogue in my brain, still words coming out, my brain was saying this was not going well…and in the same brain dialogue also thinking …”how could he look so shocked and surprised, these are not new things, these things are 20 years old…oh man!”, but it kept coming….till he was looking more shocked and hurt and I was very deflated as far as what I believed was a good thing. I am still amazed a bit of the train wreck that was, but I know that God will handle this, that my over excitement may have been premature for Patrick (ya think?), but if this is the direction that God wants me to take, it will happen.
So there it is…..I have already apologized this morning, I know that Patrick is not where I am exactly. I am very happy and blessed that God is moving in his life as much as he has. My husband is and was a devout Catholic and he in the last years, has made God a presence in his life in a personal way. My overwhelming, bull in the china shop “talk” may have been way to much (again, duh Toni). I am learning, still learning…that I need to be still, I need to put the 2 sec or more delay on my mouth, not my brain. And wait on the Lord to let me know when and where…Oh my mouth.
* DISCLAIMER : I happened to be married to the nicest most wonderful, selfless man I have ever met. He has overlooked my early controlling, grumpy, and down right wrong behavior in our marriage (I’da left me a long time ago). God totally blessed me in allowing this man to be with me. He has been my steadfast, constant, and never wavering man who was ever in my life. He is a wonderful example of what a man should be. (And might I say a hunk as well). I would not do anything to hurt him knowingly. We as spouses and future spouses need to be mindful of the other person when our mouth is involved. I believe that God not only has a plan for you, but a person to share that with you. Now that person could be totally opposite which would make so much since, two halfs make a whole! a person who compliments who we are, a person who has what we do not to make us a complete person. I am blessed to be able to call Patrick my husband for life…..