Ya know, some days, so many things can roll around in this head of mine…
Teaching today was on being anointed by God to do what He put you here. God planted that desire/gift within your heart, and that you shouldn’t live my what man’s view of you is. (Galatians 1:10). It’s living for God that is most important! I have known almost all of my life that I am supposed to do something….And until recently (4years), I felt that I was to teach, I am not sure that was what God had intended for me or what He intends for me in the future. Most of my motives for this decision what very, about me. I believe that my motives were to please “man”, which included many different people. My teachers growing up, my family, and even my “church”, which was where I was to teach my first and last year. It was me trying to please, or show man that I was intelligent…maybe a little different but still intelligent. It was for me to gain respect from my peers and family that motivated me to do what I did. Which even by mans standards was pretty good…(I dropped out of HS at 16), I achieved a GED, a BA in Education, a Masters in Education and half way through the Doctorate in Education. But with all that accomplishment, I still am ME….the people that I wanted the respect from really didn’t act as if I did anything different. I am still Toni.
I finally listened to God, He loved me the way I was. I was intellegent to Him. I was just right to Him. And for what He is going to do with me…all that “stuff” wasnt needed. And although, the cost was great (literally) it was well worth it. To find my value in God, not man. Man will dissapoint…as I know I have done to others. I am now living for an audience of one; GOD> My value is in Him….and for all my quirks, which I know is what makes Him love me all the more…I am good.
And as I sit here, I am reminded that although, education field may not be where I end up! that my spirit knows that it knows that I am here for a purpose and that God has this fantastic plan just waiting…for my growth, or timing…whatever it is..I am here. It maybe to be the best mom, wife that I can be! It maybe to go on a mission to share God’s love to others, or to support those who do. Maybe its photography, which a passion that God has put on my heart for many years or maybe to write, another passion that I “thought” that I wasnt able to do. God is growing me, I am on the vine… And although, I know more than I knew before about what God has planned for me, it’s still in the planning phase, the growing phase. I am listening to God now, He is my center of me now,…not me the center.
I am here to be ME, the unique Me that God created for just a time as this. Not like anyone else. And everyday I probably disappoint man, but I do not disappoint God.
It’s a great day to be ME! the Me that God made and created special……Now that’s the goodnews.
Galatians 1:10, For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. (KJV)