Ok, another post about things changing….hang in there people, this too shall pass (hopefully).
I have found that these changing seasons of my life, seem to be endless as this point…It has now invaded my Mothers Day time. Between turning 50 in less than 30 days, the changes to my body (don’t get me started on that one), and well….just watching and trying to guide my children, who of course at this stage are so not wanting my help or advice from this “guide”. I find that I am fighting off stupid feelings of diminishing, the not being needed, some loneliness and top that off with a body that is just painful and wont cooperate with me. These feelings are just so “stupid”, (I know who could/would guess I am almost….50?
I have got to move along with these changes, although not only bittersweet, but at times it is just plain painful….but too stay stuck in these feelings is actually more painful…So I choose, not too live by my feelings. I need to remember daily, no heck, minute by minute how I am a child of the Most High God, that my footsteps, as well as my children’s are ordered my God and that He has an incredible plan for me!!
Ya know I believe there are points of time, your time on this earth that are like forks in the road of your journey, that your choices can alter your road. And although, I know without a shadow of a doubt that if you are seeking God, that which ever fork you do take, that it will work out for your good.. The journeys may have different scenery, but your destination can be the same. So at this fork in my road, and this time in my life, I will choose to keep my peace, to remain calm and to have the assurance that it will be all good! That God loves me and my family loves me. The proof I have is my past….and where I am today. So, this fork I will choose will be one of calmness and hope, knowing that God is directing my steps as well as my children’s. I must let God be God…!
The above writing was done this morning, as I was feeling sad that my two older children were not really available today (Mothers Day) to spend the day with me. And I know that this situation is not getting any better, the kids will be working and then have school and families of their own, so I really need to be getting used to this. And after feeling sorry for myself, I felt I really needed to get in the Word. I actually turned on Joyce Meyer, it was a repeat, but I watched it anyway…her scripture was Jeremiah 29:6-11, took a look at it. And after debating about wanting to go to church..((I said I was having a pity party, didn’t I?)) and after what can only be called to Holy Spirit helping me along I went to church. And guess what the scripture was?….Jeremiah 29:6-11…Just put a smile on my face. Yes, Toni…God is listening to you. * side note…later today on the way to dinner, on the radio, someone was giving testimony, ya wanna know what scripture was quoted….YES JEREMIAH 29:6-11…Guess what?…God has a plan for me, YA THINK….
No matter what your circumstance, or your situations…Dont live my your feelings, know that God has a plan for your life…Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..