Who are you?


In my earbuds;   Shane & Shane                 Interlude

Matthews 4:19  Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men”. 20) They immediately left their net and followed Him.

On this journey that we are all on….do you ever find that from day-to-day, you and your attitudes can change? Maybe its just me, but I have found that my attitudes and thoughts and “feelings” are ever-changing. Somedays those differences can really be unnerving for me. As, I was praying about this today, I asked God, “what is wrong with me?”, this writing came in my heart…..

We/I am like the disciples that were picked and followed Jesus, we are made up of all the difference characteristics, both positive and negative of those disciples. These characteristics can and do resonate throughout my daily life. And although, I did not “see” them, they have been with me throughout this whole journey. I…

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Love and Life

This is something I wrote a while ago…

Take out the hate from our hearts to our brothers, Take out the pain from the hearts of others, Take out the tear of hopelessness from the world…

No respecter of persons, or position, Nation of origin or our condition, Forgiven, washed and covered….

Took the sin of the world on His shoulders, The wrath meant for us, Took what we deserved, and gave to us…

Love and Life

Love not Words, No conditions, The ultimate sacrifice, From the One…..


ME     (Toni Wheeler Jenschke 2013)

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Audience of ONE…..and it’s not me or man.


Ya know, some days, so many things can roll around in this head of mine…

Teaching today was on being anointed by God to do what He put you here. God planted that desire/gift within your heart, and that you shouldn’t live my what man’s view of you is. (Galatians 1:10). It’s living for God that is most important! I have known almost all of my life that I am supposed to do something….And until recently (4years), I felt that I was to teach, I am not sure that was what God had intended for me or what He intends for me in the future. Most of my motives for this decision what very, about me. I believe that my motives were to please “man”, which included many different people. My teachers growing up, my family, and even my “church”, which was where I was to teach my first and last year. It was me trying…

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Watch your step

Snare: Something by which one is entangled, involved in difficulties, or impeded.

In the earbuds; He leadeth Me

Psalms 25:15 My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only He will release my feet from the snare.

I have been reminded throughout this journey that on this path  there are many snares that are hidden from my view. These snares are ment to entangle us, to impede our journey that is laid out before us, hidden usually under the most lush of greenery…even hidden with in the fragrance of a beautiful flower that may be wildly growing on the outside of the path, with the ability to deceive one with its sweet fragrance only to stop the journey in its tracks. These hidden snares can catch us by surprise, maybe because we wander off ever so slightly from the narrow path, or maybe from what would seemly be an innocent aroma from a wild flower turns into an entanglement, to involved in its difficulties.

Once caught in the snare, for a while there maybe disbelief, which quickly will turn to fear. We are not made to be entangles, like a line tied tightly around our ankles, not letting us move and with every movement the line begins to tighten around us like a noose…This fear can quickly turn into anger. Angry, that we got tangled up, anger that we didn’t pay attention to the signs along the way, and angry that we are stuck in place, while bound so tight. Once the snare is this tight, most will become resigned to this situation. In this snare’s entanglement there is only one way out…The only way is to ask, ask for help! We have been given a guide for our path, on this journey we are not alone. Jesus left us a comforter, a guide that will loosen the thing that binds us.

So as you walk your path, stay on the narrow one, listen to your guide’s still voice within you…remember that there will be snares along the way just waiting to entangle your steps, also remember that our Lord has sent a guide for you, one that will loosen what binds you so that you may continue on your way. Stay the path!


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In the earbuds;        Need to Breath        “Garden”

Deuteronomy 30:19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers….,

Good day,  It’s been a while since my pen has been held in my hand, I could call it “writer’s block”, but in all honesty…I write with the guidance of the holy spirit and I really don’t think he gets “writers block”. I think that, ok, I know that I have been wallowing a bit. Wallowing in some pain, at times both physical as well as emotional…yes, my choice of course (not the physical or emotional pain, but the wallowing in it)…and having knowledge and understanding that this was a total waste of time and emotions, but just the same I wallowed.

As of this writing, the wallowing season is done for now, I have had to “on purpose” choose to walk out of the wallow, get out of the muck. It was beginning to be a dark hole, an unlit pathway on this journey…where the sun was never shinning. And again, let me say…I had to choose, no one would/could choose this for me. Everyone has choices, we can sit and wallow or move out of that muck that can entrap us..and keep on our journey. For me, at first the wallowing was in self-pity, lets just say for show…to let the parties know I was hurt and in pain. The sad thing is the longer that you allow yourself to sit there in the pity, the deeper, darker and slower your pace is on your journey. God does not want us to be full of pity, to wallow in darkness…He gives us the way, He lights the way..He reaches his hand down in the muck and pulls us out. But He is a gentleman, its our choice to open our eyes to his lit path, to reach our hand up to grab his….our choice.

I chose remembrance; remembering that I am loved by the great “I AM”, the creator of the Universe, the only God…who gave his son to die for my/our sins..so I can always be perfect in the eyes of God. I choose to remember that! Choices, how we live, how we love. Choices that will yield positive or negative outcomes…still our choices, my choice.

Sometimes, life, people can hurt us..through the things they say or the things not said. Knowing who we are (speaking to the choir) in Christ, knowing where our worth and value come from…not people but Christ is the key. Because I can guarantee that people will disappoint but Christ never does. This being said..wallowing can come, being pitiful for pity’s sake comes, when it does….choose to walk out of it! Choose to allow the great comforter to well…comfort you. Choose Christ, choose power. As someone said once, “You can pitiful or powerful, but not both”(JM). Choose powerful.



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Where’s the Love?

In the ear…… Oh Holy Night (Hillsong)

1 Corinthians 13:1  If I speak in tongues of men or of angels, but do not have LOVE, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbol.

As I sit here at the “O dark 30″…I guess so  conditioned to getting up for Christmas morning after many years of raising small children whose excitement for this morning is strong. But really who am I fooling, I cannot remember a time ever, even in the most saddest, violent times of my childhood did I not want to be up at the crack of dawn…so excited and full of joy. Yep, I guess I am that person!! Ok, I will not mention that I watched White Christmas everyday for a year and I still love it…never gets old.

But I digressed a bit…I am in deep thanksgiving with the Father for His truly remarkable gift that he has given us all those many years ago. This morning I opened up my “real paper” bible…just love that book, the feel of the pages etc… Anywho, it opened to 1 Corinthians 13:1 and as I read, and reread this chapter I am struck with how profound the verb/noun word LOVE is…that without it, we are just clanging cymbols…wind bags that makes noise. In this chapter it goes so far as to even describe what love is, what it does and what it does not do. It, (LOVE) is so powerful, that Christ said that it’s a new commandment that he left for us, the old commandments were for us to know how much we needed a savior, but this new one…LOVE….Love one another…which one another is not dependant on what political group, color, gender..etc., Oh and are we the judge on who deserves it? Not sure, but I think not. Should we love the ones that persecute us? Should we love without condition?…thinking YES, cause the Bible tells me so. Oh but don’t think that means that sin isn’t sin…But we aren’t the judges of that either, are we?…hummmm

But I am digressing … Love….yes, Love…patience, kindness, forbearing, isn’t that just better than bitterness, strife and division?

On this Christmas morning, as the chocolate birthday cake is cooling (and yes, I believe that Jesus loves chocolate), and the house is very still (my kids are grown), the spirit is strong…LOVE (period, simple, easy). God came as a man to go through all our pain, then to take on all our sins to defeat them, so we could always be, through Christ, able to be in the presence of God (like of the Universe) the most high..our Father!! Now that is LOVE! That is LOVE…..

Brethren, let us be a love example to the unsaved…the unbeliever. Let us not stir the pot, lets love and pray for the contents of the pot.


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The Fleece Blanket

In the earbuds; Slumber         Needtobreath

1 John 3:18 My little children, let us not love the world in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.


As I sit in the comfort of my big ole recliner, with a heating pad turned so high it could melt skin, a big cup of scalding hot coffee in my favorite mug and my fluffy robe wrapped around me I am thankful…, moments earlier I was shivering in my bed with the thermostat set at a whopping 63 degrees.

Before I go on any further, I will need to add some information: I have to be honest, I have not been known for my servant(ness) attitude in my life. I do have gifts and anointing in other areas, where doing these things is not “hard, or a to die to flesh” kind of thing…serving was not one of these. And do be honest, I never really wanted to serve, however, when I didn’t serve I had a spirit of conviction as well as a little dose of guilt. You see, I come of a servant mother.. I mean this mighty small lady has mad servant skills. Even my sisters are bent more for serving…where did I come from? how did I not get this skill? Well we will leave that for another time haha. It did come to my attention…many, many years later through some good ole fashion teaching that we are all given the same measure of “gift, fruits of the spirit, patience, kindness, ….you know the ones. I just had not wanted to give myself over totally to the small voice of God through His Holy Spirit, to go and do. I have, these past years began to be quiet enough to hear, really hear the urging of the Holy Spirit, sometimes we just have to be quiet enough to hear Him.

Now back to the “warmth” issue…the other day, as I had one of my favorite fleece blankets wrapped around my shoulders to keep our the drafts of cold air that were causing me to shiver inside my skin…I was suddenly struck with an overwhelming heaviness in my heart, and the Holy Spirit spoke to me, (not verbally this time, but that is another story for another entry) He spoke to me quietly in my heart, that small voice. If I was this cold, and shivering with a roof over my head, a steaming cup of coffee in my cold hands and a thermostat that at will I could heat this dwelling like a sauna, if I so desired.  That there were men, women and children that very moment..shivering and cold without a fleece blanket wrapped around them, no steaming cup of coffee warming their cold hands, or living in a big house with the ability to heat at will. Suddenly, in the midst of these images laying on my heart, my servant hood heart began to grow. I felt a little like the Grinch when his heart started to grow. My first thought, was not to figure out how to get someone else to help, or to even build a house everyone, not some big grandiose idea of feeding everyone….but a single fleece blanket, a soft warm comforting fleece blanket to wrap themselves in to keep out the frigid cold, to add some comfort and warmth and all that brings…there is just something about being wrapped warm in a fleece blanket that is comforting, like when Christ wrapped his warm arms around us to comfort us on those nights/days when we are shivering with fear. When His love warms us.

A warm fleece blanket…just a warm covering on a freezing night…and the promise of the warmth of Christ’s love…that is what I am compelled to share.

When you have wrapped a fleece blanket around the least of these, you have wrapped a fleece blanket around Me. (Toni interpretation of Matt. 25:40). Remember, also, that in Matt. 25:45 He also says that not only who you wrap in that fleece blanket is wrapping Him in the blanket, but who you DO NOT wrap in that fleece blanket you did not wrap Him as well….

So the next time your covered warmly…and you see a fleece rolled up blanket ($5) at your local discount store, grab some…let me know and I will get them to some cold folks, or better yet….WE can go and WRAP a cold child of God in  a warm fleece blanket together.


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My Paper Trail

In the ear buds; Only Hope         Switchfoot

Scripture; 2 Timothy 3:16  All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction and righteousness.

In the age of electronics, with the Bible app, I find the ease almost to easy! Let me explain,
my kjv Bible, the actual with pages to touch version…was given to me in 1994…David was 4, Aimee was in the womb just hangin so to speak, and Samuel, just a glimmer in Gods eyes…my mom, which it’s her birthday today, handed this book to me. She gave me advisephoto on the front page, “read everyday and trust in The Lord with all your heart”. Love mom
At the time I thought how nice but don’t think I’ll get around to that. Don’t get me wrong I was saved, and knew I was going to heaven…but I also knew that my life was so about me…..that even after an early age when I received spiritual touch from God, yea I said it, I had decided I knew best and well,.. there it is. (How’d that work out for me?..not great) Oh yea, reading the Bible…right….borrrriiiinnngggggg (or so I thought).

This book, with its quilted cover, has followed me since 94. This time period was one of the hardest, darkest and some of the scariest times for me, but also, the most enlightening, incredible, and  with the most fierce battles that I had ever won..to date. In this time, when I was alone, while in the midst of many people.. I felt the waves crashing over my head, just barely able to  keeping my head up enough to gulp a lung full of air…..this book, this God-given scripture…this warm blanket, life vest…was my saving grace. There are penciled and penned marked throughout the pages marking the dates that these scriptures were looked at, cried over and blazed into my heart forever….there are pictures that I put in its pockets, as well as taped on its pages… of my children, and of my family, there is the graduation Sunday program from two of my children and soon there will be the last graduation Sunday program, another reminder of the journey that God is leading me on, these remembrances are my blessings, put there to remind myself that God has blessed me beyond measure.  When I go to the Word, there is such comfort there…there is peace, answers always looking straight at me, covering me..Loving me and yes even convicting me when I need it…still Love….all Love.

Now, don’t get me wrong, or twisted..my You version is cool…when I am looking quickly or feeling kinda lazy…I pull it out, and just push some buttons and there it is …the scripture, still my warm place, but I cannot touch it, the screen is cold and hard…there is some colors on the words for when I want to remember what I have read, but there are not any penciled dates, written while amazed of what was being shown to me…there are no little smiles or flowers penciled in the margins,…no hallelujah or amen that I would pencil next to  the scriptures when revelation would hit…just a very bright illuminated screen.

The great thing about this.. is, that this is my view, my journey…we all have experiences, preferences and such…all that God uses for our growth and revelation. We are all like beautiful flowers different is each exact petal, but still the same family.  The Word of God either on paper, or on a computer screen, Ipad/pod is the Word of God..whether you read the KJV, or the NIV or Ampliphed…is the Word of God…His love letter to us, His instructions, His Arms, all waiting to touch us, to teach us and to guide us on the journey, the special one of a kind journey He has for each of us…its our road map….

Read it, touch it…let it touch you…..


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Oh Ye of Little Faith

Faith…Do you have it? Do you have enough? Is it possible to measure how much you have?

These are some of the questions that I have pondered often. In most of us who are believers, we are like…”yes, I have faith”, I know I have said this and thought these words myself many times. But as I sit here reading in Matthew the 9th chapter, where there were four instances of healing and restoration all from the people’s “faith” it struck me that the faith that these people possessed in this chapter was an action, they didn’t talk to others about it, (boasting) or whine about it (taking so long), or even ponder the thought that maybe “it” wouldn’t work. They just HAD IT!

For instance in Matthew 9:20, the woman with the issue of blood (for 12 years, oh my gosh), her faith how strong, for she said to herself, “if I could just touch the hem of his robe I will be made whole”..not I may be whole, or I hope I will be made whole, never did she said “what if it doesn’t work?”..she just knew she would be well, she did not question that fact. Her faith was a verb, an action word.

The Lord’s promises are true, ask and it will be given, seek and you will find, knock and know and the door will be open…I guess, no I am sure, that our faith needs to be one of sureness, and the unmovable truth, that it will be done, maybe not in our time…but it will be done.

I know what you are thinking, I have thought it too.. Well do I have enough faith? and why it seems my faith is like a rocking boat swaying too and fro with the size of the waves beneath it?  Are we using our faith as a verb or noun…is it an action work, always working and knowing that God is in control, or is a term, and thought, and well just some head knowledge or a principle that we have been taught is what a “good Christian” has? Yes these are just some things I ponder. I see now how my faith, in some cases,  has been a concept, or a thought…not a “for sure, all the time, and in any circumstance certainty” gift. I am very thankful that I can say, that I am growing in this journey with God, that the more intimate the relationship with my Father becomes, the more that my faith is a verb! Let it be a verb for you.




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Happy Birthday…to me…..

Jeremy RIddle           Sweetly Broken


Happy Birthday…to me….

Another year, here on this planet Earth. As I look back this past year, I have been amazed of how many things have changed. These last few years seem to be moving at a rapid pace, like a rushing river making its way to its destination. With all these things that are changing I have realized, that well my skin, once taunt and firm is now well, loose…like a sharpei. How did this happen? I almost need an iron to keep up with the lack of attachment my skin seems to be on this body. My hair, thanks to my BFF Clarol is holding up much better…lastly my outward shell, my body sounds like an old house left empty over the years,  with every step there is a new creek and a new crunching sound that resonates from it. Weird, but true! Ha But with all this outer shell discomforts and nuisances, there is something going on, something great! It’s my inner person, which feels mature and even wise at times. (I know, right)..This inner person, timeless within me.. the place within me that holds the mysteries, love and gifts given to me and instilled in me that wonderful day when I sought to be forgiven and adopted by the Creator of all the universe, God..my Father. This inner being, the real me, is amazed at the outer shells appearances and changes, but realizes that it is just what its called, my “outer shell”, the temporary state…I’m just passing through.

I will admit, that some days these two (my outer shell and my inner person), can cause some uproar and upheaval within myself….but hey, I guess that’s the battle here we all face, between our flesh and our inner being. The battle between our thoughts and feelings and our “knowing”…which is why the renewing of our minds is a daily and for some of us, even a minute my minute activity that we must do to keep out flesh at bay. (“Be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2). 

So as I recognize these changes and try to embrace them, I am thankful for another year on this planet Earth, a waiting area of sorts for our final destination, I am thankful that this journey is still full of surprises and growth…there is more steps to complete on my path…and although the pace of this journey has slowed a bit, I am grateful and blessed that I don’t ever have to walk this path alone….

“To the many steps that I have ahead…Happy Birthday..to me…”


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